I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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