Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
