she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
