I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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