so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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