I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
