so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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