the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
