I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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