the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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