There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
