Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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