White coat. Heels.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize