No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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