You can't motorboat a personality
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
3pm strippers are depressing
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
