So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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