the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She bit a glass in half.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
