I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize