OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
