hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
