I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
