Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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