so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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