I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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