I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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