Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
