I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
