Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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