i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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