Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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