just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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