I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Randomize
