hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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