fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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