just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
