you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
