take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
There's even glitter on my cock...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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