Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
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We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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