Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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