They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
