Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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