There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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