I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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