I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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