He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
