remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
