Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
