Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
