so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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