Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
