There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
