Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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