it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
