Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
