but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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