she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
