Plan B is the new Plan A
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
