it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
