I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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