Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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