we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
