Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
