Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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