Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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