I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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