Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
